Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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