K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it glows. i had to have it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
