I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
