If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
