Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
