id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
