Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
babies were throwing up all over the place
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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