whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
