You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
