My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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