It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
