Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
