Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
