Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
