i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
