He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
