If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The adults are the big ones right?
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