His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
