Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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