Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
