i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
