Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
