I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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