Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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