did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
