Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it was like eating out sand paper
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
