I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
