She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
