I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
