look no pants
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
