She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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