I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
