I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
