She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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