i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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