I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
