Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
