Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
