this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
