She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
