porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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