so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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