Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Randomize
