their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
