I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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