im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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