So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
handjob tips. give me some.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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