i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
