drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
