so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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