Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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