i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
