11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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