Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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