Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
