Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
