I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
