You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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