I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
