i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
